Adolescents experiencing grief can show significant impairment in their everyday lives. While grieving is a natural process, if the effects of grief continue to linger and interfere with important activities, it might be time to help your teenager seek treatment. In this blog post, we’ll cover each stage of grief in teens and offer some activities and advice to help you guide them through it.
5 Stages of Grief for Teenagers
The stages of grief for teenagers typically follow a pattern. While many people think of the stages of grief as linear, they can actually occur in any order, and people may progress or regress several times before reaching the final stage.
1. Denial
The first stage of grief is denial. After a significant loss, it can be difficult for people to deal with the overwhelming emotions that overcome them. Rather than experience these intense emotions, many teenagers will instead deny that the loss ever happened and shut themselves off from the experience of grief altogether.
The denial phase is a form of self-protection. It delays the experience of difficult emotions until a person is prepared to deal with them. During this phase, it’s helpful to encourage gentle conversations that allow teens to share when they’re ready, creating a safe space without pressuring them to confront their feelings too soon.
2. Anger
Denial cannot last forever; eventually, people will have to face the true nature of their loss. But they are still often unprepared to feel the deep sadness or fear that the loss of a loved one can cause. Instead, they turn to anger—often referred to as a “secondary emotion”—which can cover their true emotions.
During this stage of the process, teenagers may lash out at others or feel bitter resentment. They may blame others for the loss or say hurtful things to their loved ones. Acknowledging their anger and providing outlets like physical activity or journaling can help teens process these intense feelings in healthier ways.
3. Bargaining
The third stage of grief is known as bargaining. It’s common for people in this phase to say or think things like, “If only I did X…” or to pray to a higher power for a release from their pent-up emotions or stress.
Teens might need reassurance that it’s normal to have these thoughts and that they don’t have to carry guilt or responsibility for things beyond their control. Letting them know that it’s okay to talk through these feelings can be comforting.
4. Depression
Following bargaining, many people experience a deep depression. During this stage, people may cry excessively, oversleep, or feel weighed down and confused. Many teenagers who struggle with experiencing grief can become stuck in this stage, but treatment with a trained mental health professional can help them break through this barrier.
Encouraging small, positive routines like daily walks or creative outlets can help teens regain some sense of normalcy and forward movement. Activities like these provide structure during a chaotic time, release built-up tension, and give them a healthy way to express their emotions. This gradual return to familiar routines can help teens rebuild confidence in managing their feelings and remind them that it’s okay to find moments of peace amid grief.
5. Acceptance
The final stage of grief is acceptance. Reaching the acceptance stage doesn’t mean that the grief is resolved but indicates that a person has learned to continue living their life despite their grief. They have processed their grief, and while they still experience it, it no longer causes them to suffer.
Acceptance doesn’t mean forgetting the loss, but finding ways to honor and remember it without being consumed by it. Encourage teens to find meaningful ways to commemorate their loss, such as writing letters or creating a keepsake.
Signs Your Teen is Struggling with Grief
When teens experience the loss of someone close to them, the emotional impact can be intense and overwhelming. While grieving, teenagers may exhibit a range of signs that indicate they’re struggling to cope with their emotions. Here are some key indicators to watch for:
Changes in Sleep Patterns
Grief can disrupt your teen’s sleep routine, causing insomnia, difficulty staying asleep, or sleeping excessively. They may find it hard to quiet their racing thoughts at bedtime, or they might use sleep as an escape from overwhelming emotions. Persistent sleep problems can impact their focus at school and increase feelings of irritability and fatigue.
Loss of Appetite
Teens dealing with grief often experience changes in their eating habits. They may lose interest in food, skip meals, or eat significantly less. This loss of appetite can result from emotional distress or memories tied to shared meals with the lost loved one, making eating feel painful. Watch for noticeable weight loss or low energy levels, which can indicate deeper struggles.
Withdrawal and Depression
Grieving teens might withdraw from their usual activities, friends, or family. You may notice them avoiding social interactions or expressing feelings of hopelessness and emptiness. Statements like “Nothing feels good anymore” or “I don’t care about anything” can be red flags of depression, which often accompanies grief.
Feelings of Guilt or Self-Blame
It’s common for grieving teens to wrestle with guilt or regret. They might fixate on what they could have done differently or dwell on things left unsaid. Thoughts like “I should have been there” or “If only I had done more” can weigh heavily on them. Validating their feelings and encouraging open conversations can help alleviate some of this emotional burden.
Expressions of Anger
Teens may express their grief through anger, lashing out at loved ones or blaming others for the loss. They might be frustrated with friends who don’t understand, or they may even direct their anger inward. Providing a safe space for them to vent without judgment and guiding them toward healthy outlets for their emotions is crucial.
Restlessness and Difficulty Concentrating
Grieving teens may struggle with an underlying restlessness that makes it hard for them to focus or relax. They might seem on edge, fidget frequently, or jump from one task to another without finishing anything. Engaging them in physical activities or productive tasks can help channel their energy constructively.
How a Professional Can Help
Grief can be overwhelming, and sometimes teens need more than just family support. A professional therapist provides a safe, non-judgmental space for teens to explore their feelings and get the help they need to process grief in a healthy way.
Identifying Hidden Issues
Therapists are trained to spot underlying problems like depression or anxiety that often accompany grief. They can address these issues early on, preventing them from worsening over time.
Teaching Coping Skills
Teens can learn practical coping techniques like mindfulness, journaling, or reframing negative thoughts. These tools help them manage emotions and regain a sense of control during tough moments.
Offering a Safe Space to Talk
Sometimes, teens feel more comfortable opening up to someone outside their immediate circle. A therapist provides a confidential environment for teens to express their emotions without fear of judgment.
Experiencing Grief? Get Help at Imagine Nampa
If your adolescent is struggling with grief, the mental health experts at Imagine Tampa can help. Our intensive outpatient treatment options can offer targeted therapies and treatments to help them achieve acceptance and live stronger and healthier lives in recovery.
Reach out to Imagine Nampa today by calling our team at 888.503.4604 or contacting us online. We know how difficult the grieving process can be for families, and we are dedicated to helping you heal and start anew.
